The Illustrated Encyclopedia of an Imaginary Universe

I realized recently how incredibly happy I am. Even as I labor under the desire for ‘strange tongues flowering in my mouth’. Even though I am currently waiting in the wings for what could be an excessively beneficial promotion that could blossom into a long-term career. My life, once a swirl of chaos and constant change, has begun to settle down like a calm rain. I’m almost surprised at how grateful I am because of it.

But, I would loathe myself should I let my life slip into gentle stasis. To borrow from Whitman, I refuse to live a life of quiet desperation. However, I am not one to generate drama just for the sake of keeping boredom at bay. In light of this, it does seem my lot in life to always be at the epicenter of some random chaos, whether I seek it out or not. Even the most beautiful and unobtrusive things often transmogrify into hideous laughing caricatures of beastly behavior pregnant with potential misery.

It’s dangerously easy to lose myself in it, though, to just give up my head and ridiculously march into this wild oblivion. But it’s important for me to keep my head together. I’m not all that excited about the idea of becoming a moron for the sake of change and excitement.

But I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and I’m as terrified as I am excited for that phone to ring. No telling what danger lies on the other side of that voice, what possibility, and what horror. Or nothing. And in many ways, I pray that it is nothing. But I get the sneaking suspicion that no matter what we do, it won’t be nothing, and we’ll all be caught up in the dancing maelstrom again.