erhaps I am looking for a fight. For awhile there, I was thinking I wasn’t but anyone with the attitude I’ve been sporting lately has just got to be looking for someone to step up and say something, anything.

There’s a chance that most of this is just pent up negativity and, just maybe, a bit of rage but at what? I’m actually a lot happier than most people would think (in fact, I know there are plenty of people who think I’m a miserable bastard and they’re wrong… mostly). The quality of my life in no logical way motivates my late behavior. Maybe it’s the other way around.

At any rate, I don’t feel apologetic in the slightest. I came with a warning label and anyone who simply pays attention will already know what they’re getting into and shouldn’t be surprised. This is a good time for people to decide for themselves if its worth it for them to stick around.

I’ve had at least one person discuss with me how negatively I’m affecting them lately and I told her I would do my best to go easy on her. I think she’s in a far worse spot than I am especially considering I’m not really in a spot at all; I’m just going through one of my normal phases. At least this time I recognize it for what it is and that helps me keep it under control somewhat. It also helps keep me honest even if I am not always fully disclosing that honesty. What a lot of people don’t understand about honesty is that honesty itself doesn’t justify itself as an unassailable means to an end. Honesty is mostly about timing, saying what needs to be said when it needs to be said. There are things I have yet to say and they are very necessary things too. I think, possibly, some people already know what it is I’m going to say but I don’t care; sooner or later I’m going to step up and just have it out. They’ll probably think I’m just trying to pick a fight or be funny but, no, it’ll just be a defeated but necessary admission, a confession of the fact that I’ve lost all respect I had for you and can’t find it in my heart to care about or for you any longer.

And that, as they say, will be that.